100 BAD POEMS ABOUT the pursuit of empty validation ★ waiting tables at restaurants ★ astrology ★ Brie Larson ★ love ★ flip phones ★ death ★ Carly Rae Jepsen ★ therapy ★ half-eaten bowls of refrigerated breakfast cereal ★ blood ★ sugar ★ sex ★ magic ★ what to do when confronting dead squirrels on the sidewalk ★ prison pen pals ★ Netflix ★ goths ★ professional wrestling ★ Danzig ★ Twitter ★ the “I’m no Superman” part from the theme song to the hit TV show Scrubs ★ loneliness ★ compulsively repeating the phrase “nightmare person” while self-reflecting in the shower ★ smoking weed laced with dog hair ★ childhood trauma ★ junk food ★ spiritually identifying as the Pigeon Lady from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York ★ anxiety ★ Facebook ★ creepily stalking 7-Eleven parking lots at night while wearing a trench coat and drinking a Slurpee ★ Uber ★ nightmares where you’re just watching TV with your stepdad ★ social distancing ★ ageing ★ substance abuse problems ★ the latest version of Microsoft Office ★ slow motion videos of trust falls gone horribly wrong ★ semi-shitty bicycles ★ tearing up during the cornier Rocky movies ★ chasing Jell-O shots with warm cans of PBR on the fourth of July ★ severely depressed giraffes ★ wet dreams about being mauled by dogs at Toys ’R Us ★ smiling knowingly while getting buried under burning piles of trash AND SO MUCH MORE!