Machine magazine Event

Machine magazine Launch Wednesday August 31, 8PM
 
Emerson Dameron: The only guy on the bill that is from
the South, Emerson Dameron was belittled in The Reader
as being a Tarintino wanna-be and heralded in UR
Chicago as one of the highlights of the Chicago zine
scene. The Reader was wrong. He’s a Jim Jarmusch
wanna-be.
 
Eric Lab Rat: When The Machine first heard the piece,
“Eric Lab Rat is Retarded,” we all agreed that he
should write a monthly column. After spending time
with the Rev., we’re come to the conclusion that he
was right, he is retarded. He’s also a member of the
Gentlemen Callers, which is a total waste of time.
 
Matt LaPorte: Mr. LaPorte is the Gay and Lesbian
editor of The Machine. This means that he is hated in
most of America. He also walks dogs. This means that
he is in touch with the canines. But he hates them.
Matt hates everyone.
 
Kelsey Snell: Ms. Snell is the creator and
co-Editor-In-Chief of The Machine. Her media
experience did not adequately prepare her for the
cockfest that is this reading. If you hate her
reading, you hate women. If you like her reading, you
are a forward thinking individual who knows what is
best for you and the world.
 
Brandon Wetherbee: Brandon has wasted ink in Foul,
Sanitary and Ship, college newspapers, religious
propaganda, the Bible and Entertainment Weekly. His
dream of becoming the guy in sweatpants on the bus at
4am was realized last Wednesday. He is also
co-Editor-In-Chief of The Machine.
 
Charlie Deets: The Machine decided to be ?artsy? and
have a Chicago musician write a monthly column.
Rather than make sense, Mr. Deets confesses to us like
one would confess to a priest or therapist. The
Machine didn?t want this. But we?re too afraid
Charlie will kill himself and take us with him, so we
let him keep writing.