Book of the year??

Roy Wrapped in Clingfilm

The best book of the year is now available at Quimby’s. Like Derek Pell’s lyric ode to the Warren Report, Assasination Rhapsody, and Joe Wenderroth’s fast-food tragicomedy Letters To Wendy’s, Roy Wrapped In Clingfilm is probably best when it is shared, read aloud, with friends and a few bottles of cheap wine. And a roll or two, just in case.

I wrap more carefully than ever before. Not merely personal gratification but civic pride is at stake. The sunlight glints on the translucent triumph of science. The faint rasp as I unspool it sends delirious brightly coloured butterflies flocking through my stomach. I am like a tailor of the elves bedecking him in a shimmering suit of some magical material. Soon, Roy Orbison stands before all of Dusseldorf wrapped up in clingfilm. Silent white light floods my whole being and I become one with the universe.

‘Fellow burghers!’ I cry. ‘Behold! Roy Orbison is completely wrapped in cling-film!’